Years ago when I started to realize that all living beings have a time to live and a time to die, I started to process the loss of my pet cats, pet dogs, and the runty baby pigs that I so desperately tried to save. I would shed tears as I laid them into my pet cemetery behind the old garage. I would fashion a cross out of a few sticks that I could tie together with some twine. I collected large rocks to place around the location the body lay so not to disturb this ground the next time I had an informal burial. During all of my years I never had to say a forever good bye to any of my horses for one reason or another. That changed today.
In 2004 we moved to the Winterset area after over 20 years of marriage. During this time we were never able to live where we could have horses so after our 4 children were well on their way of becoming able to care for horses, we bought Junior. Junior was a 12 year old gelding that had belonged to a young lady going off to college and in need of a car. We met him in a pasture along I80 at the Menlo exit. Our oldest daughter, Jaclyn, had decided she wanted to have a horse that she could learn to barrel race on. We had already purchased one other horse named Morgan, that was hers for trail riding and he needed a companion. Since it is never fun to trail ride by oneself, Junior was the perfect fit. Both of these boys, I considered gentle giants. I never had to be concerned about the safety of our kids while spending time with them in the pasture or riding. Junior was never out of control when entering the arena to start his race. He was a proven pole and barrel horse that always took care of his rider. Jaclyn’s first year in 4-H she won both the barrels and poles in her intermediate age group. We spent many hours riding these two boys on our property through the years and he became a member of the family just like any dog or cat we had ever brought home. I know over the years he had heard more secrets and stories than he will ever let on as our kids grew into teenagers and young adults. He was always willing to be ridden with or without a saddle. He never showed any ounce of aggression or anger no matter what was going on around him. As with all good barrel and pole horses the years of racing took a toll on his legs. We retired him from racing and he became a second trail horse and a loving member of the Nielsen family. With “natural” hoof trimming he has done extremely well through his senior years. We always allowed him to run free when moving them between pastures over the years and were amazed at how he would kick up his hooves and run like the wind with his tail held high and mane blowing in the wind. It was always one of my favorite things to watch and will be the way I remember our Junior.
I reminisce about all that our kids have learned by having horses. The following link has been special to me since I have daughters that have shared my love for horses.
We have so many wonderful memories of time spent with Junior that will give us great joy in this time of sorrow. It is never easy saying good-bye but when the suffering was great, and the twinkle was gone, it was time.
As a veterinarian, I am so accustomed to saving our furry friends that when it comes to my own family from 4 legged to 2 legged and I cannot stop the pain and suffering it takes on a whole new meaning. These moments tug and pull at my heart and mind and the tears come flooding through. Age is just something that I cannot turn back the clock on. Medical conditions start to deteriorate the body and sometimes, our pets show no response to treatment. When this happens there is no hope for quality of life. I want to protect my children from feeling this loss but I know that is not possible. If we have pets, there will be pain when these decisions must be made. There is such a mix of emotions surrounding this decision, from the peace that I know has come to Junior as he took his final breath, to the tears of sadness from my myself and my family as we said goodbye to Junior, to the joy of having him in our lives for the last 13 years, for the loss that Morgan has as he searches the hillside for his companion of 13 years. Death is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. In that circle of life as every living soul lives and dies we must find the peace within ourselves to be grateful for the years, days, hours, and minutes that we have shared together. Rest in peace Junior. You are forever in our hearts and minds.
By the edge of a woods, at the foot of a hill
is a lush, green meadow where time stands still.
For here, between this world and the next
is a place where heavenly horses find rest.
And on this beautiful green land JUNIOR will play.
He will have no pain, God takes it all away.
Junior will trot through the grass, without a care,
until one day he will stop, whinny, and sniff the air.
Suddenly he will see you, as you run to your old friend
One person and one horse, together once again.
And the sadness that you felt while you were apart
has turned to joy once more in both of your hearts.